The Second Holes Slash Ever
by FlitShadowflame
Summary: Basically a series of vignettes. In case anyone didn't read the title, this is SLASH, post-CGL.
1. Am I Worthless? 2,1,9

I always hated being worthless. ((1-7-5-5-9)) My mom never thought I was worthless. ((2-3-5-7-1-3-9)) Maybe people think that because of my last name. ((5-6-5-4-7-2-2-4-4)) I mean, Zeroni sure sounds like Zero, right? ((1-4-6-4-6-4-4-5)) But I'm not useless, not worthless at all. ((3-2-3-7-3- 9-2-3))  
  
Stanley doesn't think I'm worthless. ((7-6-5-2-9)) Ah, Stanley. ((2-7)) Stanley became the only reason I hadn't killed myself. ((7-6-3-4-6-1-5-6- 6)) Just to hear the praise on his lips, I would sing down the very moon. ((4-2-4-3-6-2-3-4-1-5-4-4-3-4-4))  
  
He sang for me once. ((2-4-3-2-4)) It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. ((2-3-3-4-9-5-1-3-4-5)) In my delirium, I heard another, similar voice singing in a comforting language. ((2-2-9-1-5-7-7-5-7-2-1-10- 8)) I knew this was Latvian, the language my family has known for generations. ((1-4-4-3-7-3-8-3-6-3-5-3-11))  
  
When I was returned to my mother, I sang the Latvian version. ((4-1-3-8-2- 2-6-1-4-3-7-7)) She nearly had a seizure. ((3-6-3-1-7)) Asked where the hell I heard it. ((5-5-3-4-1-5-2))  
  
I had a seizure once. ((1-3-1-7-4)) I started shouting the numbers in my head. ((1-7-8-3-7-2-2-4)) They thought I was crazy. ((4-7-1-3-5)) Stanley doesn't think I'm crazy. ((7-6-5-2-5))  
  
Stanley likes me.  
  
I like Stanley, too.  
  
Stanley doesn't think I'm OCD, either. ((7-6-5-2-3-6)) He doesn't know. ((2-6-4)) I didn't tell him. ((2-5-4-3))  
  
I don't want Stanley to think I'm worthless. I like him too much.  
  
***  
  
A/N: It was supposed to be slash. It can be viewed as either slash or fraternal friendship. Don't care. Hope you like. Stole OCD from Camp. Don't make sense.  
  
It gets slashier as it goes on. Yeah, it's definitely slash. 


	2. Maybe It Comes With the Territory

Maybe it came with the territory. I was shoved into an all-male camp, after being bullied by a younger, smaller male. I was big, ((not fat, muscle)) and slow, and had a kind disposition. I had no siblings, and little male influence ((father always working.)) My mom was so nice ((helped her cook.)) I played with stuffed animals for a long time ((had no friends.)) Then I spent that time in CGL. With him. ((With Zero.))  
  
Zero was the sweetest kid I had ever met. Real little ((underfed.)) Wild, crazy hair ((curly and black.)) Sweet, round face ((baby fat.)) Big, doe eyes ((pretty brown.)) Such a cute kid ((adorable.))  
  
But there was hardness behind those pretty brown eyes. He had grown up on the streets ((the mean streets.)) He wasn't a sheltered kid like me ((not sheltered, no momma kissin' bruises.)) Well, not too sheltered ((momma kissin' 'til he was a kid.)) Zero was not always alone. His mother had been there for some time. Before that, there was a house ((with a yella' room.))  
  
Zero and his mom have a house again. It's right next to mine ((with a yella' room.))  
  
Zero and I have been best friends for two years. Maybe it came with the territory ((bein' a big, nice kid)) that I was not quite normal. That I only had one or two friends, now anyway. Most of D-Tent moved on, 'cept Zero. Well, and Zigzag and Magnet.  
  
Maybe it came with the territory. Two of my friends were gay. Zigs and Mags weren't obvious, but we knew. They knew me 'n Zero knew ((how could we not?)) They were okay, we were okay. Then it made me wonder ((thinkin' again, thinkin' of him.)) Zigs and Mags made me think, what if I'm gay? What if the reason I don't look at girls ((like X-Ray)) and go, "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn" was because that was how I looked at guys? Made me think about Zigs and Mags a little more ((Zigs ain't bad lookin'. Hispanic's kinda sexy.))  
  
Made me think about Zero a little more too.  
  
Real little ((underfed.))Wild crazy hair ((curly and black.)) Sweet, round face ((baby fat.)) Big doe eyes ((pretty brown.)) Such a cute kid ((adorable.))  
  
Maybe it comes with the territory that I'm in love with my best friend. 


	3. Mine

Pretty. I'll take. Nice watch. Mine. Lookylooky!!! Perfect for Ziggy. Need it. Mine! No, Zigs'. Take to him.  
  
"Magnet. Magnet, you hafta stop stealin'. What if ya get sent back."  
  
"Can't help it, Zigs. You know."  
  
"Yeah. Still."  
  
"Gotta try?"  
  
"You know me."  
  
"Sí."  
  
"Put it back."  
  
"But this one's for you!"  
  
"Buy it. Everything means more when you earn it."  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Love you, Mags."  
  
"Sí. Love you too."  
  
Zigzag smiles. Oh, I want those lips.  
  
These, I can take. 


	4. French to Spanish

Mags and Squid were my best friends at Camp Green Lake. But when the camp was closed, and everyone went home, Mags, Zero, and Caveman were the ones closest. So I stuck with Mags and Caveman, and got Zero for free. I spoke with Squid once a week on the phone, but we were both busy with school and Community Service work, so we didn't see each other often.  
  
When I told him I was gay, he freaked. I haven't spoken to him since.  
  
I love Magnet. I really do. He's sexy, Mexican, everything I've ever wanted in a soul mate. Everything. Shorter than me - so much shorter he can sit in my lap and just barely see eye to eye with me. I like that, too. I love the feeling of control I get out of that, that he has to stand on a stool to kiss me. Or I have to kneel on the ground, which I'm sure HE prefers. Still, we love each other and our relationship is private enough that just Caveman and Zero know.  
  
Come to think of it, Caveman and Zero are pretty damn friendly sometimes. And last time Caveman had a sleepover with us guys, Zero's sleeping bag was pretty damn close.  
  
And I'm almost certain Zero sleeps in Stanley's bed when it's just the two of them. I dunno 'bout you, but that's pretty friendly for just friends, where I come from.  
  
'Course, where I come from is a two bedroom apartment in the slums. One bedroom for my parents and baby sis, the other for me and my five brothers. The walk-in closet for the older of my sisters, who slept on a pile of coats.  
  
You did not leave anything in your coat pockets you wanted to see again.  
  
"Ziggy," Mags smiled. If I was a cat, I would be purring. He looks adorable when he smiles. "Ziggy, my tía is outta town, and my siblings are at my tío y tía's, down in Miami. You wanna stay at my house this week?"  
  
I love summer vacation. Magnet, as the oldest boy, was always left behind to look after the house. My parents cared little if I left the apartment for days, so long as my chores got done and I came back fed.  
  
"When DON'T I wanna stay at your house, Magsie?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan then, eh?"  
  
"Allow me to get my things, mon chére."  
  
Magnet actually blushed - my French to his Spanish, it was only fair. However, Magnet did not usually say things like "my dear." It happened on occasion, but it was still quite rare. Very sweet, however, when it did. 


	5. Louis Maynard

Not many people remember me. But I am pretty damn important. My name is Louis Maynard. My face occasionally turns so red people think I'm going to blow chunks. Fact of the matter is, I have a stomach of iron. I NEVER get sick. Haven't barfed in years. Even so, I picked up my unfortunate nickname at Camp Green Lake, the camp from hell.  
  
Barf Bag, they called me.  
  
It wasn't just my red face that persuaded them to that particular pseudonym. They also gagged at the mere mention of my past. I had told them the absolute truth of most of my life, and it repulsed them. They were disgusted by my presence.  
  
Well, everyone except about half of D-Tent was.  
  
The all-knowing Warden (note my sarcasm) placed me there, in hopes to avoid fights.  
  
Fights can never be avoided. Truths can never be hidden.  
  
I was called "Queer" and "Pansy" more often than Barf Bag. It was understandable. I'm really not a bad kid. Some stupid sons of bitches at my school decided to creatively "smear the queer" by "getting rid of the fag for good." They framed me for drug abuse and disturbing the peace. I've never even taken one hit on a joint, but who cares? The jury knew what I was. Some had kids in my school. They wanted to get rid of my "bad influence." It's not my fault. Not my fault.  
  
What I did, taking off my sock and shoe in front of a rattler, that was suicide. Plain and simple. It was actually intended to BE suicide. I knew the yellow-spotted lizards were more likely to come out at night, and I was impatient. I didn't want a slow death. I wanted it fast.  
  
Instead of my quick passing from the living, I was given weeks in a hospital. By the time I was fit to be released, Camp Green Lake had been shut down. I was free to go home.  
  
Home sucks.  
  
My bastard layabout father, Luther Maynard, was - and still is - a drunk. He's been beating me constantly since he found out I, as he so elegantly put it, "pounded ass." My mother is a dainty, pretty woman who can't seem to look me in the eye anymore. That hurts worse. She doesn't stay in any room with me for more than two minutes.  
  
My brother is seventeen, and will start his senior year tomorrow. It was his friends that set me up in their twisted game of "smear the queer." It comforts me little that he didn't help them. But Adam's nice. He drives me around sometimes, jokingly stopping at random gay bars and pretending it's my destination. Despite his occasional foot-in-the-mouth syndrome, Adam is a decent guy.  
  
"Hey," Alan, my friend from Camp GL grinned.  
  
"Hey," I smirked back.  
  
"Movie?"  
  
"Def -" I was cut off abruptly. It's hard to talk around lips. And Squid's are definitely the best to muffle any noises I might be making. My boyfriend tastes rather good, I do believe.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Muhuwahahaha, the plot, she thickens! I do realize I said Squid was mad at Magsie and Zigsie for dating, but they lost contact, and he made a little discovery after an encounter with an old friend. He was originally against Barf, he was one of the half, and why am I telling you this? Next chapter: SQUIDSIE! What is it with me and ending everything in "sie" today? It's 12:10 A.M. and I'm entitled to my weirdness.  
  
--Chronicles Bailey 


	6. From Homophobe to Homosexual

"And maybe my mom'll stop drinkin' and my dad'll come ome," I had muttered to the others, so long ago. This was, and still is, as likely as hell freezing over. My mom had been drinking since before I was born, coming to a peak and plateau when my dad left us.  
  
Didn't even take me, the jerk.  
  
If you ever say my mom's drinkin' is why I'm so messed up, though, I'll kill you. I'm NOT stupid, ok? At least I stole for a reason, unlike X-Ray - that bastard's family is so fuckin' rich . . . damn it, I can't be mad at anyone that built. Fuck.  
  
"Alan?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can I come over?"  
  
"Sure, it's not like my mom even notices, she's so fuckin' drunk."  
  
My boyfriend chose to ignore that, and told me he's be there soon.  
  
Louis had always been open about his sexuality, even at camp. I didn't know what it was that I felt when he stuck his foot in front of that rattler, but it certainly wasn't fear of demise. I passed my expression off as 'hope' that the queer would finally leave Camp Green Lake. I know now what emotion it was.  
  
I was experiencing heartbreak. It was a suicide in my eyes, and it pained my soul.  
  
But to follow chronology: when Ziggy and Magnet came out to me over the phone almost a year ago, we just sort of . . . drifted apart. They knew I was uncertain on my feelings about gays, and I knew they were the essence of what made my dad lose it. Ceasing correspondance was an easy, cheap way to end the complications.  
  
However, seeing Louis not long after reminded me of something. Three of the original eight D-Tenters were gay that I knew of - and X-Ray is very questionable. Zero's not an original, this guy named Nicholas (known as Claws in a dreadful parody of St. Nick - Santa Claus) finished his time and reentered society to become . . . an inmate in a high-security prison. He was a serial killer, seventeen when he slaughtered his first victims, and could be tried as a minor. I supported Zigzag's paranoia around that freaky bastard.  
  
Now, thinking about almost half of my friends being gay.actually, it was half, since Claws was NO ONE's friend . . . well, thinking about that reminded me of my dad. He left my mother for another man. And that made me wonder what the Warden knew, if she suspected something. But I doubt that, no one knew about Dad's little secret except me, and that was only because I'd caught him and the postman.  
  
When I started dating Louis last week, I phoned Zigs and Mags, telling them that the painful memory of my father had caused me to kinda shunt them to the side, and abuse Louis far more than he deserved. After all, my boyfriend gets enough shit from his father. So, I told them about Louis and my new relationship, apologized profusely, and kissed Louis soundly afterwards, feeling much better about myself.  
  
Louis arrived in all his bruised and bloody glory, and I helped him to my bed. I held him for a while, careful not to hurt him, and we drifted off in each other's arms. 


End file.
